Slice of Life: No, I'm Not Glad They're Home ... #SOL20 #TWTBlog
But aren’t you glad they’re home…
NO
Everyone keeps asking me this question … and the answer is NO. I am not happy my college student is home and I am not happy that my senior in high school is in now spending all of his time under my roof. I was ready to launch both of them out of my house. I was ready for less laundry, fewer meals to make, and time to think about my next steps professionally and personally. I have committed everything to them for that past 20 years and I was very ready to release them in adulthood.
And now they’re back…
Social media would lead me to believe I should be #grateful. I should be posting family game night, evenings cooking together, and the puzzle we are working on. Now while some of that might be happening, we are also trying to eat breakfast before 1:00 pm, they are spending tons of time on screens connecting with friends near and far, and the laundry pile is not pretty. Am I worried about how we melded as a family this week? NOT AT ALL!
This is a new normal for all of us. They are sad, disappointed and worried. We are sad, disappointed and worried. We need time to find our groove. I cannot expect young adults who were either completely independent or 80% independent to now want to spend time with me, or me them. I am glad they miss their friends and school. We need time to find our groove.
No. I am not glad they’re home.
I am comforted by the fact that we are safe and together. I do recognize my privilege in that I can even consider if I am happy if they are happy. For so many, game night, a family puzzle and making dinner together is not what is on their mind. I can afford to buy four weeks of groceries. I have access to devices and the internet. I have a support network that is deep and varied. I have health insurance.
No. I am not glad they’re home.
We are together. We are problem-solving. We are evolving as an adult living, learning community.
No. I am not glad they’re home.
It is easy to post “look at the bright side” and “focus on the opportunities in this time of crisis.” Only those of us who have the privilege of not being in a crisis can look at the opportunities in all of this. What I am personally experiencing is hardship, not crisis. Hardship with access and resources. Many families do not have equitable access and resources. This is a scary time for so many families. Worries that go far beyond getting sick – not having food, not having access to resources they need, not having adequate health care, not having consistent shelter, risk of losing a job.
I know we want to stay positive, but we also need to realize that for many of us it is a privilege to stay positive, not a choice. We need to have grace for one another, not judge one another, and find ways to support those who need it more than us.
No. I am not glad they’re home.
Stay safe and be well.
Thank you, Stacey, Beth, Betsy, Kathleen, Melanie, Lanny, Kelsey, Marina, Amy, and Therapi for hosting this weekly forum and the March Challenge. Check out the writers, readers, and teachers here.
