Mar 30

Mar 30 Slice of Life: Questions are Often More Important Than Answers #SOL21

The familiar Brady Bunch grid pops up and I ready my materials for the virtual writing lesson I’m about to do. I know this group well, so the morning routines are familiar. I enjoy participating in the soft start and saying hello in the chat. Kids often have something to show me and ask me to let Riley, my dog, say hello. On this morning in late September, one young friend was not himself.

I tried the chat box. No response.

I tried making eye contact. No luck.

I even tried Riley to no avail.

I send a text message to the teacher.

B doesn’t seem himself. Is everything ok?

She replies.

Not sure. I haven’t connected yet this morning.

I respond to her.

Want to put the two of us in a breakout room? I will try to see what is going on.

Next thing I know … I am transitioning through cyberspace.

B’s camera is turned off and he has muted his microphone. I wait what feels like a minute but was probably 10 seconds …. you never know when that message is going to pop up and send you back to the main room.

Hey, I noticed you have been quiet this morning. Is everything ok?

“No,” pops up in the chat box.

Do you want to unmute and talk about it?

Camera turns on and he is visibly crying.

I don’t know what to say. I can’t really describe it. I’m not sick and nothing happened. I just feel sad for no reason. I don’t know how I am going to show up today, he shares.

His question hangs in the air. How will I show up today?

That is a really important question. I grab a marker and a post-it note. I write down his question and hold it up for him to see. I think I will ask myself the same question.

He looks up. Really, why?

I think I need to ask that every day. I have to make a choice to learn, to do my best, to give what I can give. I am the only person who can decide how and if I am going to show up.

We pause.

What are the choices? I ask.

What do you mea… he begins.

The message calling us back pops up. We rejoin the group.

B, should we ask everyone to stop and think about your question before we get started?

He nods.

I hold up the post-it and begin a conversation I have continued every day with myself and my first morning group every day since.

Let’s start off thinking about how you are going to show up today. No one can make that decision for you. You have to decide if and how you will show up. You can show up in the chat box. You can draw and show up by lifting it to the camera. You can write and show up by lifting to the camera. You can show up with your body. You can unmute and show up with your voice. Take a minute to decide and then let me know by showing up in that way.

This post-it note has stayed on my standing desk since September 30, 2020. For six months, each morning I ask myself and now hundreds of kids the same question. Thanks, B for sharing your story and teaching me an important lesson.

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